French Are Right on With Le Tour de France

France is one of those countries that always gets picked on. In a preview for Rush Hour 3, Chris Tucker grabs a Chinese guy, shakes him, and starts interrogating him over something. The Chinese man starts speaking some gibberish to which Chris Tucker replies, "What did you say boy?!?!" Jackie Chan pipes up, "I think he is speaking French." Chris Tucker then shakes the poor man more violently while yelling, "Stop insulting yourself, you're Chinese!" The other day my little sister in grade school had a joke for me. "What's the shortest book ever written?" I stood there flabbergasted racking my brain for the answer. "French war heroes," she replied. Ah, now that made perfect sense. (I must say though, French soccer player Zidane looked like a war hero when he headbutted that Italian guy in the '06 World Cup)
However, amongst all these scrutinies, the French have got it right with Le Tour de France. One night I found myself flipping through channels and Le Tour was on. I ended up watching it for an hour, and I'm not going to lie, it was exciting. There, riding those bicycles, with those tight clothes and funky helmets, are well conditioned athletes. Not only that, but it's quite entertaining to watch the crazy spectators on the side of the road that further validate the stupid things people do when they know they are on TV. I love it when I see people on cell phones talking to a family member/friend watching at home and waiting for the camera to pass by them so they can point and waive to the camera, "DO YOU SEE ME?!?! HERE I AM!!!"
Last night's stage of the race was exciting because it had yet another stray dog. This time the dog wandered onto the road and took out a couple of riders. One of the riders slid on the road and got some pretty bad road rash on his back side, he later when on to win the stage. That will be a story to tell the grand children, "Yeah, I ran over Old Yeller with my bike and then went on to win!" I've always said that if you want to make a commercial better, you add a monkey. If you want to make Le Tour de France better, add a dog!

Nike Needs to Rethink Endorsements

I've never quite understood why endorsements are given as a sense of entitlement to athletes instead of a reward. Secondly, I've never understood why a company would choose to endorse athletes with no class or character. While major corporations carefully choose spokespeople that will represent the company well, it seems sports companies just go after the ones that will bring in the most money. Let me present three cases, all involving Nike endorsees: Kobe Bryant, Michelle Wie, and Michael Vick.

-Kobe Bryant
If you have forgotten the Kobe Bryant rape case from 2 years ago, then Nike is smiling now from cheek to cheek. With heat being put on Nike for endorsing a man accused of rape, they pulled all Kobe Bryant Nike ads. However; the second Kobe's trial was over shoes and merchandise were being manufactured as fast as bunnies. Kobe is once again the poster child for Nike basketball. Is it a matter of Nike wanting to endorse athletes with character, or wanting to endorse the athlete that will make them the most money? Obviously it is the latter.

-Michelle Wie
Before she even played in a major event, before she even graduated from high school, and before she ever quit......I mean "withdrew" from a tournament with soreness in her wrist, Nike had signed Michelle Wie to a multi-million dollar endorsement. Their thinking is that this girl would be the Tiger Woods of the LPGA. Boy oh boy were they wrong. Not only has Wie not played a single weekend on any PGA tour events; but also she has not even finished in the top 10 in a single LPGA event. This is a classic case of an athlete given an entitlement endorsement rather than a reward endorsement. I hope Nike is regretting signing this young lady, as they should. (Have you ever heard of Morgan Pressel? She's younger and has WON an LPGA tournament)

-Michael Vick
If you had millions of dollars, what would you do? I'd probably spend more time golfing, buy a nice car, and add to my movie collection. Michael Vick, on the other hand, buys houses for his friends, lots of dogs, and trains those dogs to fight and kill each other! And when the dogs don't finish the job, good ol' Michael does it for them in cruel and unusual ways! Damn, I want to buy that guys' Nike shoes. He redefines the old Gatorade tagline, "I want to be like Mike." Before Vick had been indicted on the recent dog fighting allegations, he had already been detained at an airport for suspected drug possession and told a few Atlanta Falcons they were #1 with Mr. Tallman (you know? The centermost finger on his hand......) With all this surrounding Nike's top football endorsee, they finally decided to pull their Michael Vick shoes. So much for signing people with character, how much you want to bet that the shoes are on the shelves within days of Vick being let off the hook? I hope I'm wrong on this one, I really do.

Jason Hart?? Come on Jazz--Are You Kidding Me??

The Utah Jazz ended the 06-07 season with plenty of hope for the 07-08 season. Predicted to finish 8th in the West in the pre-season polls, the Jazz ran the tables and made it all the way to the Western Conference Finals. Things were looking up in late June after the season ended, they only had 3 players not signed to contracts that all wanted to come back. The Jazz didn't need to upgrade, their experience in the playoffs was enough and were already looking like a potential front runner again for the 07-08 season. But then came the falling out of Derek Fisher, who left the team to seek medical attention for his daughter and signed with the Los Angeles Lakers. I respect Derek Fisher for his decision and will be rooting for him next season to do well, but surely not his team. Then the Jazz drafted Morris Almond, the purest shooter in the draft out of Rice, and Kyrylo Fesenko, a tall athletic center from Ukraine. In addition, the Jazz also signed the rights to match any contract offer for 2nd year point guard Dee Brown and 3rd year shooting guard C.J. Miles. It is also expected the Jazz with offer center Rafael Araujo the same contract. And now comes the juggernaut, without any notice, the Jazz announced they have signed another shooting guard in Jason Hart. This one begs to ask the VP of operations for the Jazz, Kevin O'Connor, "What in the bleepity bleep are you thinking??" The Jazz lose a proven champion, veteran, and motivator in Derek Fisher, and then sign an unproven, journeyman, that has made the visit to 5 different teams during 6 years in the NBA. Even O'Connor seems very unsure about the deal, saying of Hart, "he brings some veteran leadership a little bit." The Jazz right now are trying to go up and escalator that is going down. Last week Morris Peterson visited the team, a guy who fits the mold of a Derek Fisher. Without notice, the Jazz waste an "undisclosed amount"of money to Jason Hart on a multi-year contract, after Peterson chose to sign the the New Orleans Hornets. I stress "multi-year contract" because Hart has never played more than a year with any other previous team, being waived or traded every year. Hart's numbers are no better than the worst player on the Jazz roster that received comparable minutes to Hart last season. Either the Jazz are loading up for a multi-player trade, or they have gone mad. Until that trade happens, Jason Heart--go out there and prove me wrong (along with every other loyal Jazz fan out there).